Seeing how this year has begun and how we all want to be more positive and look forward to a great year. We also must face reality. The world will not get better, it only will wax cold because iniquity shall abound. (Matthew 24:12) You see, God is love, so if man isn’t following the Word of God, there will be no true love. Its either fake, selfish or some kind of deceiving “love”. It is devilish and not of God. I began this newsletter last year, around the 20 something of December. I didn’t know or think about what will be happening in this new year. I was just going through a very dark time.
The evil spiritual attacks are and will increase more and more. And will continue to manifest in our physical world more and more and worse than ever. So read my words below and realize that if it wasn’t for the Grace of God, we all would fall. Look at my thoughts, of one who serves the LORD. Now what about those who don’t? They are free range for the devil to use them to do the evil works we are seeing and most recently saw in New Orleans. I pray for their families and for those who are suffering all over the world. That they seek God, because if they do with all their heart, He will be found by them. (Jeremiah 29:13) Jesus Christ will save you, accept Him today as your LORD and Saviour.
I am not trying to be negative or anything like that. I just want everyone to see that I am just another simple man, as Job was. And that these deep dark times can be to bring us closer to the LORD. Not everyone will handle it, many will quit. Believe me, I have thought about it. I wrote the following around the 20th-27th of December, if I can remember right.
Why deep down do I just want to run away? Why does this hurt cause me to forget my mission? Why do I get upset about my calling? Why do I get upset at the One who has chosen me? Why do I wrestle with the darkness?
I’ve never been where I am at right now, where my heart is being hardened little by little and I can feel it taking over. There comes a time in the trials of our faith where you just cant fight off the darkness. It penetrates so deep, it takes a hold of you and you want to get rid of it but you just cant. You pray, you call out to God and He seems to be so far away. Did Jesus feel this? On another level of course?
Where you feel the presence of your Father not only far away but as if He never was near. Where your doubts and fears takes over your hope and faith.
I want to run away but I am stuck in this trial and I cant get away. Hate, anger and bitterness seem to permeate throughout my whole soul, all of me is fighting and I just cant beat this. I fall and fall and cant seem to get out of the darkness, it surrounds me, it engulfs me. I feel as if I am becoming this darkness, the only thing yelling out is the Spirit within, the separation of light and darkness is so clear, but I seem to not be able to access the Light. You know when the tears don’t come freely, something is wrong. Why wouldn’t you cry thinking of what Jesus did for you?
O Jesus who am I? Why do you allow this? Is it to realize that without You I am nothing? Am I to surrender all to access the Light? The darkness engulfs the Light trying to crush it, trying to put it out, but it cant. Even if I give into the darkness, it still cannot extinguish the Light. What are You trying to show me LORD? What is it? Is it Your Grace? Are You teaching me the depths of Your Grace? I cant understand it, I cant fathom it LORD. So what shall I do? Woe is me.
I guess it comes down to not understanding, not knowing, but Trusting. This is the Trial of our Faith.
When I fall in this Trial of Faith, when I don’t trust You LORD, I end up sinning. Why have satan press me so much to where I fall and sin? There is always a breaking point and to distrust the LORD is a sin and will lead to more sins. Why do You allow us LORD to fail? Is it to see that only Your Grace is sufficient? The Apostle Paul said in Romans 7:19-20″ For the good that I would I do not: but the evil which I would not, that I do. Now if I do that I would not, it is no more I that do it, but sin that dwelleth in me.” I believe part of what Paul was going through could have been a battle within himself about trusting the LORD. Our lives, once we are saved, is all about our walk of faith.
Do we truly trust the LORD Jesus Christ with our whole life? Or only believe in Him as our Saviour? Is He also the LORD of your life? Is His Grace sufficient for us? Well, only through having full faith in Him, only by complete trust in Him will His Grace be sufficient for us. You believed this when you accepted Him as Your one and only LORD and Saviour. When all hell is attacking you, will you remember and rely on His Grace? In 2 Corinthians 12:9 it says-“And He said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.” It takes the “heat of hell”(the attacks of the evil one)to burn away the clutter and things of this world to reveal that only through His Grace will we be able to stand.
Remember the story of Joseph? Where his brothers did evil to him. Well, in Genesis 50:20 Joseph said to his brothers-” But as for you, ye thought evil against me; but God meant it unto good, to bring to pass, as it is this day, to save much people alive. What is meant for evil, God turns out for the good. The devil thought he won against Jesus Christ when he had Him crucified on the cross,but he fell right into the wonderful plan of the Almighty God. We must have complete faith in our LORD and Saviour Jesus Christ to receive this Grace in time of need. Hebrews 4:16 says-“Let us therefore come boldly unto the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need.” Trust the LORD your God, my dear brothers and sisters.
May God bless and guide His children in this New year. Seek His face my brothers and sisters.
I love you all.
Jonathan David
A servant of the LORD
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